just another love story

hey...goodbye..
chal..tc..bye..aur tu kal aa raha hai ki nahin?
haan haan...i will be here..

and she is gone.i dont want her to go, but there is no reason to stop her. there is nothing more to say. all i want to do is spend time with her. just another 15 mins..but she is gone. little does she know that all the pranks that i do are to make her smile, and to bring that expression on her face. that expression in which she acts that she is all annoyed by the pranks but in actual she is enjoying it..
our meetings are pretty short. sometimes she talks to me. sometimes she just looks at me once, gives me a  smile and go away. i love that beautiful smile of her...
i search for reasons everyday to call her... and when i find the reason...i am scared to call her. what will she think? what if she feels annoyed? what if she doesnt wanna talk? what if she hangs up? what if she doesnt pick u and not call back?
god help me!
i am not a stalker..oh no i am not. but i cant help look at her. she is so...i dont know what. but i cant help look at her when she is around. that is the only thing that i wanna do!! and how on earth is she so naughty and yet so sweet?! how is she beautiful AND smart? that is not possible! ok maybe she is not smart...otherwise she would not be talking to me...yeah...maybe she is dumb..but she is so intelligent!!...
but by god she is amazing!!she has that special power to uplift my spirit by just looking at me. and i love it when she spots me and come towards me crossing all the crowd of people between us..god!

there are so many things that i want to say to her...but somehow when i see her i forget them all.. the only thing i do is look at her...
and the only thing i do is i look at her...

when i met sri sri ravi shankar...

march 9 2011. i was with him. i saw him for the first time. there were four of us and guruji. he was talking to everyone and he did not even looked at me.i had really wanted some personal time with him and this was it!  i had so many questions to ask him... he was so awesome!!he was energetic, peaceful, witty, laughing and short!! i had expected him to be taller!! i just kept looking at him and did not say a word. i was just lost in him. and before i realized the destination came. i was just happy that i got to spend time around him and see how amazing, dynamic, untiring, amazing, handsome, happy, always thinking about others, talkative, :) , naughty and amazing he is. then the rest of the three people got out. and it was just me and him. and just at that moment he turned, looked at me, he smiled and put his hand on my head. and in that second i felt like he understood everything i wanted to say. his eyes said everything. it was just me and him and no one else and nothing else.i did not ask any questions and he gave me all my answers.it was like he showed me the world. i understood what being around him means and of what great value it is...

i would do anything to get another of that second to spend with him...
this is my experience when i met sri sri ravi shankar...and who he is?.......he is my guru.
:)

the nirma song!!

this song is created by our very awesome Basanth bhaiya....and it has been prepared on the tune of washing powder nirma...

i am considering the simle fact that you guys remeber the washing powder nirma ad and its tune....
so here goes..
radhe shyam krishna,
radhe shyam krishna,
radha bechari...krishna ke peeche,
krishna badmaash pada gopiyon ke peeche..
sab ki pasand krishna!!
radhe shyam krishna..krishna!!

the dream

it was very different
very strange
 it started with all of us friends were going in a train.
 you were with us. we were talking and having fun. and u gave me something. something that looked like a coin and u told me to keep it with me. then i went on the top seat. i was jumping, cracking jokes, very happy.
  u were just smiling and laughing and then suddenly something happened. everything started going away.
  not that everyone was dying or stuff was melting.
 they just went away in a very strange way. which was scary. i could see them all going away. and i could see my scary face. it was all red. red everywhere.then only me, my seat and the coin like thing remained.
  then the seat went.
and the coin which was now in my hand, it became hot. red hot. it melted away right through my hand. but i did not feel anything.

  and then i lost my body. i felt so free. and i felt i could see everything. and nothing
 nothing existed.
just me.
 everything is fake.
 why do we have the ego?
why do we fight?
 why do we love?
  the only reason we exist is because we have to exist.
then why am i leading my self into emotion?
 i felt detachment towrds everything. and that moment was beautiful. it felt real. i was free. just floated in the air. and that feeling was...blissful. after some time everything broke down. i was back i had the coin in my hand. everyone was there u were smiling at me and then u  went away. no no. u were there.
u just innocently looked at me and asked what happened? why are u looking like that and u smiled!!
  everyone was acting like as if nothing had happened and maybe nothing had happened. i checked if i had the coin or not. it was not there
  or maybe it was.
i dont remember
i was just left with the feeling.
and then i woke up from my sleep. it was all a dream.
i have never remembered any dream. this one is by far the most clear dream. this is i guess the only dream that i can think of i remember. somehow it left some impression on me. it made me thinking a lot. the faces were so clear. the color was blood red. i felt numbness. dont know what i felt honestly. dont know what happened.
did not feel awesome. did not feel anything. it was complete numbness. 

a deep thought...

while we celebrate birth, while we celebrate the beginning of the new life we show sorrow and resentment towards death. why? i have never been able to understand why? aren't both the processes interlinked?it has been said again and again that in Bhagvad Gita, Lord Krishna says that a soul leaves the old body and takes a new one just as we leave our old clothes and take new one. without death there will be no birth.

people celebrate in life without realizing that this life has resulted in someone's death somewhere.

similarly people mourn in death without realizing that this death has taken life somewhere.

one needs to understand that this life and death is a circle. it keeps on happening irrespective of everything. where there is nothing to be sad about it, there is nothing to be happy about it either. both are beautiful. they have to be! after all they are gods creation. they are nature's gift to us. perhaps the only way to restart a life all over again and do everything from the very start. the only way to come over the emotions we have towards them is by being inert towards them.
but isnt it the emotions that we have towards them that make us human?it is the emotions, the way we think that make us different from other people. it is our very own emotions that make us special. and on the same hand to escape this suffering, we have to become inert.
yes this is confusing. this is a big problem that life throws at us. if we kill the emotions we  r insensitive. and if we keep them, freedom from the suffering is nowhere near.

so..what should we do??

just a passing thought

everyday we learn, we grow. everyday brings us something new.we have experiences everyday. some change the way we look at the world, some change the way we look at the people. our thoughts are crushed, so is our ego. we laugh and we make others laugh. we cry and we make others cry.all of this makes sure we are moving ahead. we are growing up.some people are born, some die. the balance of life and death, right and wrong has to be maintained. oh yes. some expereinces make us happy and some make us cry. but when did we learn from our happy experiences? it is always the harsh truth. it is always the hammer of the blacksmith which gives a shape to the iron. we have knowledge. we are already iron. all we need to do is remove the negativity. all we need to be is in shape. there is nothing, no quality that we dont have. all we need to do is lose.. it turns out that loosing is fun!! think about it...

for amit bhaiya...

mela pyala amit bhaiya...you are such a cutie pie. when we are near you somehow all our sorrows drain away, and we start behaving like kids. i just look for a excuse to talk to you. and if i am not able to find an excuse, still i call you.. :p  most of the solution to our problems is just listening to your voice. whatever my problem is, when i tell it to you, i feel that my problem is already solved, and when you tell me the solution, i dont do anything but smile. the reason for me to come on saturday is to hug you and see you smiling. bhaiya when you hug me....the feeling is wow. i feel so centered. calm. peaceful. i drop all emotions, and i feel i have everything. when you smile, we feel like a flower has blossomed. your smile brings a smile on our face. you take care of us so easily. you do everything, and you make sure that no one is troubled and everyone is ok. i always observe whatever be the situation, whatever work you give, you always put us first and then the work. talking to you bhaiya is like talking to our self. transparency.giving out all thoughts and leaving out everything. you are soft and delicate like a flower. you are beautiful. you are a teacher, you are a friend. and best of all you brought us such a beautiful and pyari pyari bhabhi!!!
i really dont know what my life was, before meeting you. but i know what my life is after meeting you. i dont remember my past. i dont wanna think about my future. i just wanna be with you. thank god i did the yes+ course. now i have you.
love you amit bhaiya. you are a true inspiration. honestly bhaiya. i dont know anything else. all i know is that i want to be with you. i dont know who you are. i dont know what you are. i dont wanna know anything. all i wanna do is be around you. be it for 1 day in a week. be it one day in a month. but the fact that you are around me is enough to calm me. it is enough to satisfy me.
all i know is you. and nothing else about you.
love you bhaiya. happy birthday. many many happy returns of the day. may god bless you with all his shine. may all your prayers be answered. may your smile inspire more as they do me. may you stay in bliss with guruji. happy birthday my dear amit bhaiya. mela pyala pyala amit bhaiya!!